A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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