She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So many bounce houses so little time
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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