Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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