Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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