no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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