Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
