Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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