i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the condom got lost in my hair
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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