Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Randomize
