Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
