yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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