Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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