pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
