What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
