I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
