Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Fuck appropriateness.
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Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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