piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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