she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You left your phone here
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