My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
