I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
