they need to just BURY HIM!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
