if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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