I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize