You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
