I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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