Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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