i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
