Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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