i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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