i just wanna soil my oats bro
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
