? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
