I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
