i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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