I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
