her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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