Sry I called you an 8
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
