his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
