After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
