porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
