Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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