...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
