This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
