i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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