I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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