OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
