he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
