What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
