im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
