Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
