Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize