i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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