The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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