This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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