I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
