Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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