Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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