and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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