google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
