Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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